“Don’t judge me for my choices when you don’t understand my reasons”
Women are UPSET because Kim Porter is mostly only celebrated in mainstream media with images of her and Diddy and their love story. The headlines always refer to her as the “mother of Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs’ children”. There is so much more to be said about a mother than who the father of her children is. Yet, that’s what many of us are left with. There is no website, about me, no LinkedIn or any documented professional history of Kim Porter online. However, it’s a choice that she made…
Don’t be upset!
It’s bittersweet because that’s how the world got to know her and how she’s documented in history. The lesson is it’s important for us as women to control how our stories are told when we are living. I agree it’s frustrating because we want to know her, but that was HER decision on this EARTH whether or not she wanted the world to know her intimately. Instead of being upset with someone who’s no longer here ask yourself do you have your life’s work documented on and offline or will your loved ones scour the internet for hours, days and years trying to find things that remind them about the person they loved?
What is your legacy?
If you were to leave this Earth today what do you want to be known for? What do you want those around you and your family to say you spent your time doing? What do you love to do and want your life’s work to speak for? Oftentimes, we avoid thinking about the end. Since I’ve spent the last 7+ years writing both professional biographies and (unknown to many) obituaries, I know what I want to highlight about my clients, I know what their loved ones want to say about them and I know what happens when things are not clear; the message might be what the family member wanted to say instead of what the recently lost loved one truly wanted to convey. I’ve sat down with wives, sons, and grandchildren who were left at a loss for words but words were the only thing that remained.
When is the last time you defined another woman or yourself by a man?
Stop it! Don’t define women by the man they’re with. A woman isn’t spectacular because of who she’s in a relationship with. Is a man considered amazing because of who he is in a committed relationship with? No. So why should a woman constantly be defined by her man or relationship status? Don’t judge the women around you by the men they are in a relationship with. Remember they are whole within themselves. You are whole or can become whole through your personal quest for healing. The next time you’re about to judge your girlfriend by her new boo remember this challenge.
Protect your legacy!
America knows Michelle Obama was amazing before and without Barack. She invested in herself. She committed to honing her craft. She’s a documented professional. However, Michelle is a greater woman for her contribution to her legacy, the legacy of America and the legacy of her family. Be great on your own! Be unapologetic on your quest for greatness! Document your success: get featured in press and media and give permission for your story to be told while you are still living!
We see through snippets on the internet about Kim’s life that everyone around her knew how amazing and talented she was, but she never sought to have press and media to document her success the way Diddy does. He’s chronicled every stage of his life: business, relationships and family. She managed the careers of both her sons but worked tirelessly behind the scenes; as most mothers do. She did it all & we didn’t know.
Keep people around you that will check in on you!
What happened in the last two weeks of her life? Who was there to care for her? Who made sure that she was ok? The answer is most likely why she isn’t here anymore. Protect your legacy by protecting your health and your life. Go get that checkup. Don’t avoid checking in on you because you don’t want to inconvenience others.
I was almost Kim. I went live on FB on my birthday 2 years ago because I was in the hospital with a new blood clot in my lungs… I had just been told my mother had less than 2 weeks to live & I was on my way to see her when I realized that every time I inhaled I felt pain. Come to find out I had the signs & pneumonia before when I was trying to take care of my mother & traveled not knowing it was blood clots…. she died in Kansas while I was in the hospital in Florida.
I say all this to say it’s second nature for many of us to put ourselves on the back burner. We can’t we’re dying off too young. I hope millions of women get checkups now after this. Many of us are trying to do it all and sacrificing ourselves. When we sacrifice it all who is left there for us?
“Love once depleted diminishes the soul…” – Woman on the Move
Here are snippets of Kim Porter’s fun moments that were shared about her on social media
The Love Lost
View this post on Instagram
For the last three days I’ve been trying to wake up out of this nightmare. But I haven’t. I don’t know what I’m going to do without you baby. I miss you so much. Today I’m going to pay tribute to you, I’m going to try and find the words to explain our unexplainable relationship. We were more than best friends, we were more than soulmates. WE WERE SOME OTHER SHIT!! And I miss you so much. Super Black Love 🖤
The talented artist
The Inspiration behind an Classic Urban Song…
A loving Mother…
The Hype Man for Her Sons
The Life of the Party…
View this post on Instagram
#KIMPORTER (@ladykp )Passed Away at age 47 , & leaves the world 🌎 in great shock 😱😱 Porter is recognized as @DIDDY former-girlfriend of 13 years she shares a son, @kingcombs and twin daughters, Jessie James @JESSIEJ and D'Liah . She also shares a son, Quincy, with Al B Sure. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS 💭🤔🥺💭 Did this Hit You Hard ?? May her soul #RIP 🙏🏾👼🏽 (Tag a Friend) 📍 ————————————————— #STREETCONNECTTV #WSHH #theshaderoom #balleralert #biggiesmalls #faithevans #DIDDY #kanyewest #rihanna #beyonce #nickiminaj #cardib #emotional #nbayoungboy #kodakblack #jillscott #badboys #6ix9ine #saycheesetv #worldstar #EXPLORE #viral #HIPHOP
A Lover of All Things Peace…
View this post on Instagram
This is unbelievable! I’ve been at a loss for words since I heard the sad news of #KimPorter ‘s sudden death yesterday. My heart goes out to her Children and her love ones. So Sudden, Too Soon, So Sad. Rest In Peace Beautiful Girl! . . . #KimPorter #MomOf4 #GoneTooSoon #alifeinpictures #SlideLeft⏪
The Ugly Truth
Many don’t want to share on panels, to be always in the news, to lead a movement in the public eye. Kim Porter might have felt safe as being known as a loving mother and as Diddy’s muse … but the key is she allowed this story to be her narrative.
I had to learn this the hard way through the passing of my mother. I gave her a book that would’ve helped the telling of her story. When she passed it was empty. She never chronicled or documented one thing to leave behind. I have two children who I know would’ve loved to have something more substantial about their grandmother than a series of photos. However, it was a choice she made and I had to respect it.
Don’t be upset with the media. Make a decision on what YOU WANT TO BE SAID ABOUT YOU when YOU are NO LONGER HERE.
Let us know your thoughts!
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