This… (My Kyoto in Spain)


I’ve always sacrificed love for travel, but I never thought that the day would come that I would find love while traveling… not just a crush, a hot steamy romance, an intoxicating obsession, but a moment where when you meet a person your whole life stops and everything that ever existed seems so minute compared to what now exists…

I tried to describe my reaction to what I experienced with a double titled poem entitled ‘This… (My Kyoto in Spain)’

Whatever this is…
I’m here for it
Every moment
breathing minute
I’m here for it

Silence can’t isolate the melody of enchantment
Each moment
each gaze
each word you have uttered
no matter how thick the accent
deep the voice
piercing the command
I have cherished

You are it
If ‘it’ is for a moment
if ‘it’ is for a second
If ‘it’ lasts for a lifetime
I’m centered in you and whatever ‘it’ is…
I’m here for it

I’ve shyed away from commitment
the entanglement of love
the constraints of expectations
the meandering of heart felt “i love you’s”
that engulf the spirit into the abyss
I’ve avoided them all for many years

until the moment i met you
from the first moment
I saw you
I wanted to know you
Know your desires
know your dreams
know what makes a man like you stop
and embrace a woman
cater to a woman
cherish a woman
and fall in love with a woman
like me

Not just physically
but mentally
yes spiritually
and dream things that love can’t interpret
and desire things the heart can’t understand

I want you
the deep stares
the blank looks
the confusion
the dissecting of me
the challenging of my ways
the intelligence that brightens your mind
the wisdom that salivates your tongue
and the power that radiates through your pores

I want whatever this is
all its complications
all its complexities
every contradiction
every lapse of judgment
every false pretense
every moment of greatness
that happens when I see you
and listen to you
and learn from you
and every minute that I’m gifted by your presence

I challenge you
to not let ‘this’ slip away
to not discount it as a ‘phase’
as a ‘crush’
as a ‘obsession’
as a ‘desire’
as a moment of ‘happenstance’

I challenge you
to give every bit of love you have
to give
to love me
to like me
to cherish me
to keep me
and let me do the same for you

Because whatever this is
I want it
for as long as I can live
to experience it
to love it
to hate it
to get mad at it
to regret it
to come right back
and say that this was one of the best things that
ever happened to me

By Jasira Monique